From: My Higher Self
By: Claire Crowe LMSW
This September, at Wellrooted Counseling, we’re getting ready for cozy season, by letting go of attitudes and actions that are cluttering up our homes and schedules.
Hello. I received your request for wanting to be smaller. I received it last night, when you were up late scrolling and the algorithm started feeding you reels from influencers who were your age, with your body, promising to make you smaller. Your thoughts started sounding like “It’s just inspiration.” “I’m just trying to be healthy.” and “I just want to look like her.” I appreciate the thought you put into imagining your future in a smaller body. You present a lot of strong reasons, and I want to address them one by one.
First, you imagine that your life would be easier if you were smaller. I want to let you know that I think it makes all the sense in the world that you would feel this way. When you were born, and by the time your body grew into a woman’s, everywhere you looked you saw bodies that weighed less than yours. You didn’t really have a sense of who you were, and you believed that your worth was determined by how many people liked your body. It makes sense that you wanted to show your value by having a smaller body. Although you’ve grown up, I know there’s still a part of you that believes you would be more valuable if you fit that image. And there’s plenty of people who benefit when you believe this way.
Next, you talked about how your life would be simpler if you were smaller. Trust me, I get this. You have a lot going on, and it makes sense for you to crave simplicity. There are kids to wrangle, work responsibilities to manage, and partners and friends to give your attention to. I know food noise is a responsibility you don’t want to manage anymore. Thoughts like “What are you going to eat? Did you eat too much? Should you eat that? Are you hungry, and you shouldn't be hungry again” are really eating into your already busy schedule. And don’t get me started on the three ring circus that is meal planning. It makes sense that you think life would be simpler if you simply didn’t care so much about food.
Your last reason was really compelling. You told me that life would be perfect if you were smaller. You really backed this one up with evidence. You ran a highlight reel of all the times you believed things like “If I can't do it perfectly, I shouldn't do it. Everyone else seems to have it figured out. If I break the rule I've failed, and I should be further along by now.” This one seemed bigger than food or body size. This reminded me of earlier times when you confused showing up and performing perfection as a true reflection of your wellbeing.
After reviewing your arguments, I have some bad news to deliver. At this time, I am not granting your request to be smaller. I understand that you believe being smaller would make your life easier, simpler, and perfect. I want your life to be simpler. I want you to experience a sense of ease, and most of all I want you to stop chasing perfection, but I have something bigger in mind.
I would like to remind you of times when your life felt easy, simple, with nothing to improve. The last time your life felt easy was when you spent less time meeting other people’s expectations. I know there’s a lot to lose if you don’t show up for everyone in every way, but I think it’s worth considering what you would be willing to say yesno to. Simplicity is less about organization and more about having a clear sense of what you want and what you don’t want. What do you want other than being small? If you take a moment to get quiet, can you hear what else you might desire? Giving up perfection might be a tougher sell, so please start small. Start now, and just consider, in this moment, there’s nothing to improve.
Thank you again for reaching out to me, and please remember my desire for you to have exactly what you want. Although your request to be smaller isn’t going through, please keep talking to me. I want your life to be as big as you deserve.
All My Love,
Your Higher Self
Working with a Wellrooted therapist in Midland, with the right training, can help to find a balance of change and negotiating works best for you. It’s often the connection with the therapist, coupled with their clinical knowledge that creates the conditions for you to let go of what isn’t working and step into something new. Speak with one of our therapists today to see if it’s the right fit.
